Grounding Wire

John Brandt 

Word Count: 600

Inspiration: 3 metal loops on my dryer cord, electric charges, and parents

I almost died.  I should be doing something.  Anything.  But I should just sit for a while.  Maybe that will stop my hands from shaking.  What the fuck is wrong with me?  At least this little black dog doesn’t blame me for anything.  Look at how she nestles that little black head into your fat stomach.  When are you going to work out, again?  Dude, you almost died.  Dad told me a million times, “turn off the electricity first.”  I could have just waited an hour for Damein to get here.  At least with someone else in the apartment, perhaps he could save me.  I will just pet this shiny black fur.  Look, she has more gray in her hair.  Glad she was not closer to that cord when I plugged it in.  How many dryers have you installed, John?  More than I can count.  You know better than to plug something in without being connected on the other end.  Of course it sparked.  Of course the metal melted.  Of course the circuit breaker shut off.  It’s time to order another cord.  I can’t just sit here and wait.  I will order a cord and put it on the dryer.
3 little loops.  1 is for negative.  1 is for neutral.  1 is for positive.  Maybe that is why you are just sitting here right now.  Your body is trying to get into neutral.  Everything feels weird.  Even Dad made that mistake a few times.  Remember when he almost died replacing the air conditioner?  Perhaps, you are too hard on yourself.  Tonight, was supposed to be a fun night hanging out with my friend.  Maybe I was trying too hard to get this apartment ready for a guest.   Even the dog was flustered by all my cleaning and preparation.  We have been alone here for months, now.  And as I pet her soft fur I wonder: “Is she comforting me or am I comforting her?”  Does it even matter?  Dad would do something in this moment.  I need to mop up that spot.  If maintenance comes in here and sees black spots on the floor, they are going to charge me for that shit.  That’s the last thing I need.  I almost didn’t make it.  And now I will clean.  Because I did make it.  Clean up that spot.  Don’t leave a black mark on your floor.  Go clean, now.
Tomorrow will come.  I guess the reason I am thinking about working out is because I am not dead.  I normally hate cleaning, but this mop is helping.  At least I am not shaking anymore.  “Don’t you think you can always learn from mistakes?”  How many times did Grandma ask you that question?  How many times did she ask Dad?  If people really learned from every mistake maybe she wouldn’t ask us the same question over and over.  Or maybe people are just electricity looking for stability.  My friend is coming here to escape his wife and kids.  Dad taught me both good and bad things.  And I just want my friend to have fun for a few days.  Maybe that is what this is all about.  Positive.  Neutral.  Negative.  People are energy.  And right now we are separated.  People are alone, scared, and confused.  Little circles of metal not understanding the shock to their system.  But the cord in the middle is the most important.  “That’s the grounding wire, son.”  My father knew that “grounding” was the key.  Don’t be scared that you almost died.  Don’t think too much about how important the lesson is.  Just keep yourself grounded. 

Comments

  1. Jordan FloydAugust 26, 2020 at 1:50 PM

    I definitely feel the pull of the dad's influence (whether through actual words or the persona thinking about the father) that the persona feels. There's definitely something pulsing there, as evidenced by the essay's final lines.

    ReplyDelete

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